There’s going to be quite a shift here . I’ve decided to use this as a journal platform and have less of my prose and poetry for a while. I feel like sometimes I have a lot of important things to say but it doesn’t get voiced because I can’t put it into prose.
I don’t know if you all have ever felt that, sometimes I can’t write poetry or completely express in prose. That upset me for a really long time because I grew up thinking any and every feeling can be communicated through poetry which I still believe very religiously but I’ve leaned to accept I haven’t reached that kind of greatness. Sometimes my empathy and compassion for somebody , my urge to protest and anger against something unfair in the world , my one voice I have goes invalidated by myself simply because I can’t write something meaningful about it. And that’s a very dangerous place to be, personally for me. I feel like I’m losing parts of myself, parts of what my parents raised me to be, parts of who I raised myself to be.  So for a while, I’m going to try and make sense of the world in just my thoughts,  nothing sophisticated , just mediocre everyday melancholy.
It’s also kind of freeing , to not have this absolute need to try to express in pretty words. I hope nobody is disappointed.