In the Balm of ; a young girl

 

What does being a young girl feels like ?

I don’t know (shyly smiles) I don’t know how to explain. Just tell me how is it different from when you were younger?  it’s more about friendship I think, doing things just for fun and just to enjoy. Pranking others or mocking teachers , going out, doing things we are not allowed to do (giggles) like what? like the things that would terrify mom. Like what? running away from home. So when you think of running away what are the pictures that come to your mind? To know different types of cultures, or to look at a great sky different from what I see normally, to travel, to see places, knowing small towns. I don’t know.

What do you think being a woman is like ?

Proud, I will be proud of the responsibilities that I will take. So do you think being a woman is about taking responsibilities? No it’s about everything. Like right now I know women struggle with the pressures of what they have to do according to the society. So I think being a woman means fighting the pressures. I see you doing it, I think that’s what being a woman would feel like, when people direct their questions and standards to me, that’s when I would realise that I’ve grown up and that I have to start fighting. So fighting and holding your ground, I think is what being a grown woman would feel like.

Do you not have to fight at your age ?

No I don’t feel that way. I feel I’m free to do as I want, not entirely, but still. I don’t fight anything. Maybe because I had you, I don’t know.

What’s the worst thing about being a girl ?

Relationships. With? Boys. Why? There is alot of drama (rolls eyes) and it wastes alot of my time. ( Both laughs for a long time ) Why? Sometimes it’s just that boys don’t understand girly things. Is it important that they do ? Yes. Why? Because we like them.

Who is your role model ?

Mother, I want to be like her. Do you want to be exactly like her? No only some parts of her. Like I want to be able to take care of her how she takes care of everyone. ( Did you say that because everybody says it? No….. yes maybe. But I do want to become as kind and caring as her. I’ve grown up watching her, I want to be more like her.

What do you dream of becoming ?

(thinks for a very long time ) Independent, also comfortable in my life. I don’t know.

What is the one thing you are told to do but you don’t like to do?

Things that they ask girls not to do infront of the boys , like “behave!!!” but they don’t tell boys that. Like when I’m being loud, or jumping , or dancing around in class.

What will stop you from achieving dreams ?

Death ( looks serious for a moment and then giggles)

Do you feel lonely ?

No ( looks a me surprised at the question)

Who do you trust the most ?

God…..and I trust you and my best friend.

When do you feel most happy ?

Being with my favourite people, my family and friends.

When do you feel most sad ?

There are many things that make me sad. (Hesitates alot) I feel sad when I’m ignored. When I talk about something and no one is listening but it’s fine I know sometimes that it’s not intentional on their part. But it makes me sad.

What does to love mean to you?

Love is giving time, understanding them , doing what makes them happy. (takes a long time trying to put this into words)

What does to be loved mean to you ?

Being surrounded by people I love. Asking me simple everyday questions, giving their support, asking whether I’m okay, just generally caring for me makes me feel loved.

When do you feel the most pressured/anxious/stressed ?

When I hear about the number of rapes that happens. What is the thing that scares you the most about it? that it can take my future away In what way? that I won’t feel good or won’t feel like living my life fully. Not knowing how I would feel about myself after something happens to me, I don’t know it’s just scary.

What do you like the most about yourself ?

I like that I am loyal to people I love. I’m understanding, I think. When someone makes a mistake, I try to put myself in their shoes. It has helped me keep friendships. Do you think that is always a good for you or do people take advantage of that? If people decide to take advantage of that, it falls on their conscience, I understand that too.

2018-06-08 18_36_22.010Do you like the way you look ?

Sometimes ( laughs)

What are some things you like about the way you look?

My eyebrows. What else ? um…. my boobs ( both laughs ) What else ? my hair and my collar bones sometimes.

 

What are the things you don’t like in the way you look ?

My teeth ( giggles) and my hands .

When do you feel the most prettiest?

In selfies ( smiles )

When do you feel the most ugliest ?

When I look in the mirror ( giggles)

What is your number one priority right now ?

Being better at communicating with people , I want to be more entertaining to people. ( looks at my face for snap-back) People always tell me I don’t talk much to people other than my close friends. Do you think that’s a bad thing, or you have to change that? Sometimes, I just want to be more social.

What makes you proud about yourself ?

Just myself, that I have goals in my life and that I’m working towards it.

 

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