For the girls who are difficult to love

They’ll watch you look at the sky like it holds answers and ask you questions, tell them you want to be alone, tell them you don’t have the answers. Don’t tell them about your poems, don’t tell them that there was a deer and moonlight and a hauntingly beautiful forest where all the wild things were and the reflection of the moon on the river set the whole forest on fire, don’t tell them. They’ll tell you you are cold, they’ll nickname you stone but remember how you loved, remember how you still do. You won’t hear about your softness but know that you’re gentle and fresh and growing even if you are growing sideways. The first time you looked at that boy, you fell like a jet plane with loose wings but no one noticed because it didn’t make a noise. You’ve learned to see the music and hear the colours but they haven’t. They won’t see the blues in your voice or hear the voice in the colour of your cheeks or taste the honey in your eyes. Don’t let them tell you you don’t have fire in you. Tell them your love tastes like lighter fluid and gun powder, something not everyone have the courage to taste. Across the city right now is a girl , who knows to fall and make love loudly and you’ll watch her turn heads and touch hearts. Don’t be jealous, don’t wish you were her. Remember when you touched the boy you loved for the first time, somewhere across the city a truck flipped off the road and the electricity went down and a woman gave birth to her child . Remember what your mother told you, if they don’t see it in you, their loss.  Do not explain why you want to leave , do not explain why you wan’t to stay. Don’t let them hold you for too long. Forget when they said you only chew and don’t swallow, remember how you swallowed the weight of your heart when a friend called you at 2 am and you loved her. They’ll make you feel the red lipstick and the black dress you own is wrong, ask them to define wrong. They’ll convince you the night that you felt alive was a mistake, ask them if dying would fix it. When you walk knee deep into the ocean and wonder why you got so sad so young , when you brush your fingers against the edge of the ocean and ask why, do not walk deeper, do not try to drown yourself hoping the deepness has the answer. Know that the ocean does not know, know that the horizon and the ocean never met even though they appear to. Don’t let them take away your love for strangers, don’t let them protect you. If anything you should be protected from, it is from their inability to understand. Never ever let them own you. You do not belong to anyone and do not be ashamed of it. Tell them you found love in freedom and in the liberty to be absolutely what you want to be.They want you to find love in the classroom halls, and warm coffee shops and on the beaches. They’ll hate it that you want counter intuitive love and they’ll hate it that you’re closer to it. Do not try to explain, do not tell them you’re looking for hidden worlds in the eyes and cracked lips of strangers. Never, ever apologize for being fierce and passionate. Do not apologize for finding happiness in places they find only hopelessness.  Do not tell them the reason why you love the smell of peaches and that his words were the colour of the earl gray tea your father used to drink. They’ll try to tell you it’s a kind of madness. They’ll try to take away your art saying its ‘wrong’. They don’t understand, they don’t know that art speaks words that dissolve into your blood than human mouth ever did. Never apologize for being lost. Remember once Hemingway wrote ” The world is a fine place and worth fighting for” , Hemingway put the lip of a gun to his head and felt the bullet go through his head , do not wonder what this means to fight, know that your strength is greater than what these poets and revolutionists try to make sense of. You’re chamomile and lavender and fog in the morning, do not let them tell you you’re just smoke. Remember, if a boy claims to love you, ask him if he knows what the colour of your sadness is. Remember to leave him when he says black. Remember to leave him when he says blue. Remember they only know your name. Do not let them touch you.